hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
