i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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