Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
