I'd wear matching sweaters with you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize