So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize