And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
