pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
