I met the friendliest cop last night
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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