Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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