You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
