I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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