I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize