I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I am midnight drunk by noon
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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