Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm always down for nudity.
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