Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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