fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I can feel your judgement through the phone
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
