i jhust puked up my retainher.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
