I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
this is an emotional support booty call
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
