i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
