He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
