I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
