What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
