Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
