Will you blow on my dice?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
