i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
