somebody snuck up and got me drunk
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
God, I missed his penis.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
