How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
