We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
