The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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