i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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