dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
