everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
