You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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