Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
