is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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