She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it was like eating out sand paper
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
