In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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