I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
