Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
