Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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