Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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