you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
