like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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