i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
