I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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