The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
