Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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