Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize