you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize