i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
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Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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