I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
