can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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