I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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