If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize