Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
