we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
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It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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