Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
