Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
